For the intro do not just have “in my opinion”, either not include that or have “I will prove this”, whether I am right or wrong.

In bibliography include any books that have helped my study. (Wally Olins / Naomi Klein). Then separate into sections. Books / Websites / Focus Groups / etc.

Harvard reference any of my definitions. Make sure every time I have taken something from a source that I do this. After every page.

For my list of illustrations, include the charts as well ( Chart 1, Chart 2, etc )

Have a thank you page, recognising the help I got from certain people, tutors, family, focus groups, etc.

Title all my images throughout dissertation as well as in the list of illustrations. Not necessarily the charts either.

Conclusion. Does it make me look at my studio work in a different way, or perhaps the same way but stronger. Talk about my Journey.

The final dissertation has to be fully finished and printed properly for hand in on the 25th January 2013.

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“What is good about the draft dissertation and the Web-site:

First chapter title should be ‘The Brands’ – and you must introduce the general idea/definition of a brand, its function and place in our consumer society in a few paragraphs before you then introduce us to the Brand you are going to focus on (Chanel).

Your use of focus groups and questionnaires is extremely good – don’t hide the charts in the Appendices, use them as illustrations in your text. (Leave samples of the questionnaires in the Appendices) Also when you introduce your questionnaires, you must profile the groups involved in more detail. Give us their ages, gender etc right at the beginning. I’ll talk to you about this in class.

On the second page of the ‘Piracy’ chapter, you talk about a group of people in class who you talked to about piracy –  again, give us as much detail as possible about these people when you first introduce them. They are not just ‘people in class’, but women, aged xx to xx, and anything else you can tell us about them – before you then disclose what they had to say.

A few pages later you talk about the difficulties of telling the difference between a real Chanel bag and a pirated one (it was a made up comparison)…why don’t you try a real experiment (you might not be able to do it with a Chanel bag but maybe you can do it with another brand).

We’ll discuss this all in class – but you have brought your dissertation to life with all of these discussions – good! This is a mode of research that works for you!

The Reflective Research Diary – excellent, good reflection and an interesting read

 

What could be improved?

We need to go over some of your paragraphing in class (you use long paragraphs and don’t always give your reader an opportunity to breathe!).

You need to have your text proofread… as we all do.

You need to credit your focus groups/questionnaires in your text with Harvard Referencing – and again in your Bibliography.

Keep going Jordan and get as much done as you can!”

 

By LizMcQuiston

After showing my Dissertation Outline and a chapter that I have completed, here were the points to be improved on and also the notes from the afternoon lecture.

Add the title to the dissertation outline as well as numbering the chapters in which I will order my dissertation upon. Once done, send to Liz.

Try to keep my dissertation between 7-9,000 words as this is a good number to work around.

Think about a possible experiment that I can do that will enhance my research and dissertation purpose, maybe this could be done in a form of a questionnaire that lots of people can fill out.

Try to relate the dissertation with my own work. Perhaps when talking about the brands and say how they have changed also talk about how this perhaps has influenced my practice at Uni for other classes.

Appendices is a list of resources / photos / that I want them to see that are too bulky for the main part of my dissertation. It is not just a dumping ground for all my research.

Structure and writing styles Lecture

Think about the style and tone of the dissertation and how i want it to be perceived by the reader.

Analyse as I go throughout the dissertation.

Try not to over use “I” throughout. Change it up with Myself and Me.

Make it clear when changing voice from talking about something and some one to about myself using “I” and “Me”.

Paragraph writing.

Introduce it, something the reader might not know (1-2 sentences)

Give supporting information . Key elements to the topics. Describe in a fuller view (several sentences)

Conclude. What does the provided information mean? Do not assume that you will come to the same conclusion as the reader ( 2-4 sentences)  Remember this does not have to emphasise by stating “this means” or “and to conclude” etc. You can be much more subtle than that.

 

Think about design layouts for my my dissertation, how I want it to look for the final hand in. Book, magazine, newspaper, 3D, etc.

Think about illustration that i need to use.

When handing in my first draft, include the blog as my research diary as well.

Make the formative draft for the 2nd November 2012 as one large document. Including:

  • My Title page – including, name of student, course (with pathway/specialism) and year of graduation
  • Contents Page
  • List of Illustrations
  • Acknowledgments
  • Introduction
  • Text Arranged in chapters or sections
  • Conclusion
  • Appendices
  • Bibliography